When asked "Is something
bothering you?" reply "NO" then get mad when you are believed.
Become attracted to
someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him and immediately
expect him to stop this behavior.
Always take an hour
longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
Always hide very important
events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be mad about
when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say
"It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents
with me if you are not busy this weekend." when you mean "It means a great
deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it
is possible!"
Whine.
If you are trying to
sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost super-human level of
daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep, it's because he is lazy.
No matter what the
activity, he doesn't do it as well as a past boyfriend.
If he pays attention
to you, he is smothering you.
If he gives you space,
he is ignoring you.
Complain.
Hate any bar that he
likes.
Demand to be treated
as an equal in everything........except when paying for meals, airplane tickets,
concerts, beers, clothes, etc.......... these are required gifts proving his
love.
Declare PMS at any
given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular
from all of the stress in your life
Remember that ANY woman
who so much as looks at your boyfriend must be labeled cheap and your network
of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quick as possible.
Make his life miserable
by making him feel guilty about doing anything other than catering to your
needs.
Break into tears for
no apparent reason
Ask for help in some
endeavor then become livid when it is given.
Insert yourself into
your boyfriend's group of friends, break up with him, then make sure you are
present at every gathering for the next month just to rub it in.
Tell your boyfriend
it is OK to go out with another girl, who is just a friend, and get mad when
he does.
